My Poor Heart
by ksjf2012
Summary: James One Shot. Very Long. And very smutty. :)


One more picture…one more screaming girl asking for an autograph. One more minute of being stuck in a hotel lobby until security came to break it all up. I was out of place in all of it. After all the flashing lights and screams of girls weren't for me. Almost all of them probably didn't even know I was there. Which was fine. I liked to blend into the crowd and stand back as the scene unfolded in front of me. But these rare times when the crowd was too big and there were too many noises and lights made me want to leave and crawl under a blanket to forget it all. I loved my job but sometimes when I feel overwhelmed, I'd like to give it up. Something always changes my mind, though.

I kept a firm grip on the notebook in my hand watching the smiling face of a man I cared an awful lot about. He was signing another piece of something, probably very sloppily. He looked tired and irritated. But he still had the smile on his face as if nothing was bothering him. But because I knew him, I knew he was bothered. I couldn't say anything because after all, all I was, was the publicist. I was merely a pawn in the broad picture of the life of James Diamond. All I did every day was set up meetings with different brands, different people, different companies…all I had to do was make sure he got into the public eye and looked good doing it. Like now. Even thought he was in Vegas for another fight, a fight everyone on his team, including me, knew he would win, he didn't really want to do any of the "Vegas" things. He didn't want to go to the strip clubs, and he didn't want to walk the strip whistling at girls in skimpy outfits. Since we landed yesterday he made one appearance at the ring and took some pictures talking about how good the fight was going to be. It was like pulling teeth to get him to go to the press conference today, but he did. And as soon as it was over, and we started to walk back to our hotel rooms, he informed us he was going to his room for the night and didn't want to be bothered. But of course, James being The James Diamond, the Diamond fighter as he was called, he was swarmed. Girls heard he was staying at Caesars Palace and practically attacked him. No one seemed worried about the growing crowd because above all else, James is a UFC fighter. He can handle himself if needed. Also, most of the crowd were girls either already flashing tits for him to sign or getting real close to doing it. His team of trainers and manger, all men, didn't mind the tit flashing. But I did. And I think James did too. But his nickname, after all, was the Diamond fighter. That meant he was nice to look at, nice to be around, and unbreakable. People adored him. Including me.

I pulled my notebook up to my chest and hugged around it seeing James laughing at something a woman was telling him. My spot against the wall made me far enough away from the scene but close enough to see how fed up James was getting. I wanted to say something. I wanted to scream, grab ahold of him and take him to my room and never let him leave. But I couldn't, and I didn't. I remained standing even as hotel security came running towards us, already telling girls to give him space. James's manager, one of his best friends since elementary school stood beside me, smiling small at all the adoring fans. Logan, his manager looked down at me making me frown which made him smile. "Come on…he loves this attention."

"He's exhausted Logan. He needs to sleep before the fight tomorrow." He nodded looking back to the crowd that was slowly dwindling down. "Can I at least go?" He turned back to me and nodded raising a hand. I sighed out seeing one of James's trainers walking towards us. I hated that working for a huge star meant I was followed and guarded always. I disagreed to a personal body guard which almost lost me my job, but one of James's trainers, a short Hispanic man named Carlos who was also one of James's oldest friends, spoke up and offered to "watch me". I hated it still, but it was better than a professional guard.

"Just make sure she gets to her room okay." Carlos grinned big and nodded bending his arm slightly and giving it to me. I rolled my eyes but took his arm feeling my own fatigue hitting me hard. My feet hurt form my 4-inch pumps, and so did my back. I clutched onto Carlos as I glanced back to Logan who was looking back at James. "Sleep tight Abbey." I smiled at him as I waved softly and turned back to the front, as Carlos led me to the elevators.

We stayed quiet the whole ride up to the floor with the suites. Carlos got on his phone and I checked over my list of things I had to do tomorrow and didn't notice the elevator had stopped only half way up. I heard the ding of the doors and made a movement to walk out but my arm was grabbed. "Not our floor. Someone is coming on." I looked up fast and pushed back, and sort of behind Carlos as four huge dudes walked onto the elevator. One of them I recognized easily. He was the man James would be fighting tomorrow. Ricky Alverez. When they all got on, and the doors shut, I pulled my notebook back to my chest and watched the green numbers change slowly as we started to climb.

"You're one of Diamond's trainers, aren't you?" I eyed the four men all looking at Carlos who was still looking back down at his phone. Ricky simply laughed and before I could look away, we caught eyes. "And I have defiantly seen you before. The way James talks about his team…especially his gorgeous publicist. It would be hard to miss your or your beautiful rack." I looked down fast swallowing hard just as Carlos looked up. "Take it easy man. Just trying to compliment a beautiful woman. No rules against that." I could tell Carlos was tensing up, so I looked up again and smiled big at Ricky who seemed to really like that.

"If I wanted to be complimented I'd tell you. For now, why don't you just worry about how bad your ass is going to be kicked tomorrow." Everyone in the elevator looked down at me making me nervous, for just a second. I heard the ding of the elevator and double checked to make sure it was our floor. I kept my head held high as I pushed past two of the guys, not looking back.

"You being feisty just makes me want you more." I ignored him reaching in the back pocket of my jeans and grabbed my hotel key hating that my room was all the way down the hall at the very end. "I'm gonna win that fight tomorrow and get a victory kiss from you." I casually flipped him off over my shoulder hearing someone coming up behind me. When I lowered my hand and heard the ding of the elevator I glanced to make sure it was Carlos, which it was. He was grinning ear to ear. "What rules was he talking about?" Carlos laughed looking ahead.

"The two teams of the fighters aren't allowed to associate with each other. It just means trainers, but you are apart of the family so…" I nodded as I looked ahead and sighed out stopping in front of my door. "That shit was dope by the way. Putting Ricky in his place. Made my night boo." I chuckled with him as I slid my key into the lock and Carlos pushed my door open for me. I saw him do a once over of my sort of big room before he looked at me, still smiling. "Have a good rest of your night Ab's. See you tomorrow morning." I nodded letting him give me a soft kiss to my cheek. He started to turn but I reached out holding my door open with my butt.

"Los…" He gave me a concerned look and I smiled small. "Is James alright? He seems…I don't know but it's worrying me." Carlos looked down, rubbing the back of his neck slowly.

"He's alright. Just been thinking a lot about shit and…I don't know…I guess Ashley dumping him last month is still bothering him." I nodded swallowing hard and played with the frayed paper sticking out form my notebook. "I think he's also got his eyes on someone new. It's been distracting for him."

"Who is it? Because if he gets hurt tomorrow because of some hussy distracting him I'll…" Carlos's laughter made me stop and pout which egged him on more. "What?"

"Dude…the past month he's been on the road, going to events, and training and fighting. In that time, how many girls has he come across to make him that distracted?" I opened my mouth but closed it fast giving him a confused look. "Have a good night Abbey." He turned quick and walked down the hall just four rooms down slipping his key in the lock and going in fast. I sighed out shoving my door open and stepped inside the room letting my door shut hard behind me.

I was slow to get out of my heels, take my makeup off my face, and earrings out of my ears. I got a bubble bath ready for myself and put some soft jazz on my phone placing it in the bathroom. Then I poured myself a glass of strawberry champagne and got undressed, climbing into the tub fast. I laid back closing my eyes and held my champagne glass outside the tub, letting out a hard breath. I tried to not think about what Carlos told me…about a girl distracting James because a small part thought I knew who he was talking about. But that made me nervous, so I pushed the thoughts a side and thought about how busy my day would be tomorrow. James was going to be fighting in Caesars Palace for the first time ever. He was going into the fight with no losses. There was a lot of pressure on this fight, but his whole team reassured him, and thankfully me, his opponent, Ricky, was all show. The guy lost two of his last fights because he liked to run his mouth and show off. Because James was a very technical guy when he fought, this would be another easy win. At least that's what I kept telling the media. I was talking him up because I was told, it would get to Ricky's head and make him have to show off. I hoped it worked.

Even before the fight I was going to have a million and one things to do. Answer journalist questions make sure the media booth was set up and had everything they needed. I had to go to an interview with Logan to talk about how far James has come and…I was pulled out of my thoughts hearing soft, but urgent knocking on my hotel door. I sat up slowly setting my almost empty champagne glass on the ground by the tub. I waited in the silence to see if I was hearing things but again the urgent knocks came through, this time with an even more urgent voice. "Abbey? Are you in there? Abigale?" I frowned listening to James's voice and got out of the tub. I quickly grabbed the huge, soft white fluffy robe hanging by the shower and pulled it on walking to my door. I tightened the tie around my waist and rolled my eyes hearing more knocks. "Abbey?" I unlocked the door and pulled it open sighing out. James's face looked down to me fast and he breathed out shaking his head. "Did Ricky harass you in the elevator?" I leaned against my door and gave him a blank look. "Did he do anything else?"

"No. I took care of it. And Carlos was with me. It's alright." He breathed out hard looking down, making it easier for me to also look down. James was in a pair of black sweats, hands inside the pockets. He was wearing a white tank top underneath a black zip up hoodie with a black beanie on his head. He was also in a pair of dark brown slippers, which made me think he was getting ready for bed when Carlos told him about our elevator encounter. "Is that why you came down here in a hurry? You thought Ricky did something more?" James looked up giving me a dumb look and I laughed.

"That guy is a piece of shit. He put a dude, walking on the street, in the hospital for looking at him wrong. And treats women like dirt. I don't want him to get away with anything." I nodded laying my head on the edge of the door and he shrugged. "Besides…I'm allowed to worry about my team. You mean a lot to me." I started to blush as he looked me up and down and then around me, into my room. "Were you taking a bath?" I nodded looking down at my robe and saw I had bubbles on my legs. "Sorry I interrupted. I'll let you get back to it." I looked up to see a red blush on his cheeks and stood up straight.

"James." He turned fast, and I smiled small. "I was going to have another glass of champagne and watch a bad b-horror film if you don't have any plans." He turned completely to me and swallowed hard. He looked uncomfortable. "You can say no." He looked to my face and smirked walking to me. I moved out of the way of the entry for him and watched him walk into my room.

I stayed in my robe, putting nothing on underneath and sat on the bed with him as he poured us both a glass of champagne. When I sat back up against the headboard and pulled my legs up under my body I put the movie on that I'd been wanting to watch. He seemed to get comfortable after the first sip of his champagne and leaned back, sort of close to me. I turned to him noticing him staring at me and we both smiled, blushing, looking away. "So…" I was interrupted by him laughing and frowned.

"You can't watch any movie without talking through it." I gave him a dirty look as I looked back at the TV seeing a girl, topless, running through a field.

"I was just going to ask how you were feeling about the fight tomorrow?" He shrugged sitting back a little more and raised a leg putting his champagne glass on his knee. "Are you nervous? I mean…do you ever get nervous before a fight?"

"Not really. A lot of what makes a good fighter is confidence. And that is not to be confused with cockiness." I raised my left arm and rested my head on my palm as the three pillows under me held my arm up. "I walk into a fight thinking…I've trained hard enough, I have learned enough and know enough to win. If I, make a mistake, I just learn from it."

"SO how is that different from cockiness?" He looked up at me and we locked eyes. I had the urgency, suddenly, to kiss him but stayed still.

"Guys like Ricky walk into a fight thinking…I'm the greatest. No one can touch me and my muscles look better than yours. It's up to guys like me to prove to him why he isn't the greatest. Confidence over cockiness." I nodded slowly as he turned his attention back to the TV raising his glass to his lips.

"What do you do when someone your fighting, starts talking shit?" I was referring to the multiple times I heard Ricky likes to talk to his opponent in the ring and hoped he has a plan for it.

"I let them ware themselves out. Once they have finished spewing shit, I hit them hard. Usually in the face." I cringed looking back to the TV as well and took a sip of my champagne finishing it off. "Can I tell you something in secrecy?" I nodded as I gently turned around and set my empty glass on the nightstand behind me. As I turned back to him, James was pushing himself up into a sitting position. I swallowed the last of the liquid in my mouth and licked my bottom lip clear of any leftover. Just as I did, and just as James set his glass on the table beside him, he turned to me, and leaned in quick. At first, I wanted to push him off me because I couldn't tell if this was real, or if he was only doing it because he was heartbroken over his ex. But when one of his hands set on my thigh still covered by my robe I pushed into the kiss harder. I raised both hands and set them on his neck pulling him closer to me. His hand on my thigh moved up quick to my waist and he squeezed gently. I took it as my cue to start to move my body, closer to him. As I started to move closer to him, he pulled away. Fast. I opened my eyes and felt sick. This wasn't what he wanted. I opened my mouth to apologize but stopped seeing him pulling his sweater off. As he threw it behind him and started to pull up his tank top, he got on his knees beside me getting closer. I felt my heart start to thump a little faster seeing his ripped, tan body come into my view and pushed myself down. I laid down flat on my back and went to untie my tie around my waist. I was stopped. Both his hands grabbed mine and raised them up over my head. He bent down, putting his face inches above mine. "I've been crazy about you since Logan hired you." I squeezed my fingers around his and raised one of my legs rubbing it against his body.

"That was a year ago James. You were with Ashley still."

"And you wonder why I broke up with her?" I frowned making him laugh as he pushed up letting my hands go. One if his hands quickly went to my tie around my waist and started to tug on it. "Is this going to fast?"

"Personally, I think to slow." He glanced up to my eyes as I smiled and pushed up a little, leaning back on my elbows. When he got the tie undone around my waist I sat up fast and gently pushed him back, so he was sitting on his feet. I felt my robe sort of open, but I knew nothing was being shown to him. Not yet anyway. I reached down quick, keeping our eyes locked and put a hand in his sweats. He groaned quietly leaning into me and kissed me hard. I let him push us back, so I was back to lying down, with my hand still in his sweats. He wasn't hard yet, but even so, still felt big. It made my right leg raise up and lock around the back of his thighs pushing him down onto me. His dick pressed onto my lower stomach, making us both moan out. I turned my head away from him and closed my eyes as my other hand went to his head and took his beanie off. I threw it without care and ran my fingers through his hair as he started to suck on my neck. One of his hands pushed my robe open and as soon as his fingers touched my skin under my right breast, I took my hand out of his sweats and went to work on exposing more of my skin to him. I opened my eyes feeling his lips leave my neck and watched as he trailed his kisses down to my chest. I raised my other leg and gripped the blanket under me, as his mouth met my right nipple. His kisses were soft and sweet. His hands grabbed ahold of my ribs on either side and held gently as his mouth moved from my right boob to my left. I wanted to scream at him, to tell him to fuck me already. But as James gently bit on my skin on my boob and rubbed up and down my side something hit me. This wasn't the James I knew. I knew the Diamond fighter. The guy who beat the shit out other guys for a huge paycheck. This guy over top of me, who was slowly making his way down my body with his tongue, teeth and lips, was not the Diamond fighter. He was just James.

Form the second his lips trailed a line down to my belly button I was stiff. I was imagining in my head how his mouth would feel on the most private part of my body. It made me ache for it. And as those lips touched the top of my pubic line I was panting. He moved his body down a little, taking his lips off my body for just a few seconds. When he was in a comfortable position, without saying one word, his lips were now on my clit, sucking. I closed my eyes and pushed my back off the bed moaning out loud. Both my hands went to his head, and on instinct I pushed on it. His wet lips moved down my slit as I felt two of his fingers enter me. I turned my head, raised my legs and sub consciously set my feet on his shoulders. I opened my eyes, feeling my mouth go dry as he started to push and pull his fingers out, while simultaneously eating me out. His other hand found its way to my right breast and he squeezed sort of rough, while also pinching my nipple. I closed my eyes again and laid flat back on my back groaning louder this time. "Fuck…" I was panting again, and it made me feel silly for just a measly second. For that one second, I felt ridiculous for how unraveled I was. And then his mouth was off me and his fingers were pulled out of me. I turned my head slightly opening my eyes. He gently put my legs back down on the bed and leaned forward. It was just as I started to sit up that I saw his cock, now standing straight up, that I knew what was happening. He entered me slow, but hard. I fell limp against the bed as he hovered over me, moving his hips in a way that every time he pulled out, I craved more. And more. I reached up with a struggle, grabbing his biceps, since his arms were holding himself up, outside my head. We locked eyes, me still panting, starting to sweat. He had a small smirk on his face that made my poor heart burst into tiny pieces. Yes, we were screwing, and he just ate me out in the best way possible, but he was smiling at me. Because, and this was just what I thought in my head, he was in love with me. That's what I told myself anyway. And as he sort of leaned down bending one arm to get closer to me, I wrapped my legs around the back of his legs and put both hands on his face as his thrusting turned into a pounding. I was completely high on cloud nine.

I don't remember falling asleep because soon after we had sex for the first time, we had sex for the second time. And then the third. And because he went down on me, I returned the favor and gave him a grade a blow job. When we finally could no longer move, I laid in front of him, my head on one arm, while the other was being held by both mine. Our legs were intertwined and occasionally I would rub my feet against his. He'd rub back, and I smiled snuggling against his arm. I must have fallen asleep then. Safe, happy, and in love, in his arms. However, that was not how I woke up. I woke up on my stomach, the blanket still tucked in under me. There was a loud ringing from my phone somewhere close by, and I wanted to turn it off, but as soon as I opened my eyes, I closed them. My blinds were still open from last night, and now the sun was blazing through them with anger. I turned my head and slowly opened my eyes again seeing I was alone in my bed. That image made me sit up fast and glance around my bright room. There was no one in here with me. I frowned looking down at my body seeing bite marks, and small hickey's here and there. SO last night I did have sex with James. But why did he leave without saying anything?

After wallowing in my loneliness, I realized it was almost 11 in the morning. Which meant the fight was going to be happening in an hour. I got to my phone finally and found out Logan had called me at least 50 times leaving a slew of pissed of texts. I was supposed to be down to the ring at 8 this morning getting everything ready. And because I wasn't, and I wasn't answering my phone Logan was assuming I had split and quit. I took a quick shower after telling him I'd be down soon and dressed myself fast. I put my hair up in a tight bun on top of my head and applied little makeup. I slipped on my black pumps as I ran down the hall to the elevator. When I finally got in the elevator, I buckled both heel straps around my ankles and checked myself in the elevator door. I checked my gold watch on my wrist and groaned seeing it was 11:30. I slid my all access pass around my neck and hurried out of the doors, walking quickly through the lobby. I saw dozens of people, here for the fight and rushed past them going to the huge room the fight was being held in. As I got to the door I spotted Logan, walking with another trainer of James's and hurried to them. "I am so sorry." Logan and Kendall, the other trainer looked at me, smiling big and I bent slightly, breathing hard. "I don't think I heard my alarm. You know I've never done this before and I take my job very seriously so…"

"Abbey…relax." Logan put a hand on my shoulder and gently took my notebook from my hand and turned us, so we were walking. Kendall got on the other side of me and they led me inside the room. A loud offensive rap song was playing over head as thousands of people yelled and screamed around the octagon in the middle of the room. "James told us to cut you some slack since he kept you up all-night talking. He said he was nervous and you made me feel better." As he sort of yelled it in my ear I nodded slowly as he looked down at my notebook. "We got through everything this morning just fine. Everything is set up and everyone is good. Now we just wait for the fight." I nodded again as Kendall opened a door for me leading me into the locker room James would be in. As we walked down the hall to it, I tensed up realizing I would be facing James for the first time since last night. It made me nervous. Again, Kendall pushed the door open for me and I followed in after him taking my notebook back from Logan. As soon as I had a hold of it I stopped walking and saw James sitting on a bench, getting his hands wrapped by Carlos. I swallowed hard seeing his naked torso and let Logan walk past me. "How you feeling man? You good?" James looked over to us but nodded up to Logan, ignoring me completely. I felt like a ton of bricks were thrown on top of me. "They are loud out there today. It's gonna be a good fight."

"Especially if you knock that douche bag out in one round." I walked slowly over to a metal chair in the corner and sat down hard opening my notebook. I quickly pulled a pen out of my black purse and started to write up my two separate statements. One was if he won. The other would be if he lost. "Those feel good?" I glanced up a just a little and saw Carlos sitting back holding up James's hands. I looked down quick seeing James turning to look at me.

"It's all good man. Thanks." I heard Carlos give a quiet answer and slowly started to think of a humbling but honest response to winning this fight. "Before we start to head out can you guys give me a few minutes?" I looked up fast and frowned closing my notebook standing. Everyone started to head out of the room, Kendall, Carlos and Logan being the last. I pulled my purse up on my shoulder and walked to the door, Kendall was holding open for me. "Abbey?" I turned, feeling a blush come over my cheeks and felt a small pat to my back. James stood up and turned completely to me looking over my head. I glanced behind me seeing the door close, leaving us both alone. "I wanted to talk to you before I go out there and get hit too hard and forget what I want to say." I looked back to him and raised an eyebrow popping out one of my hips trying to look sassy.

"Does it have anything to do with you lying to your friends about what happened last night? Or about how you left this morning without telling me?" He frowned walking to me, so I turned quick and walked over to a table set up with fresh fruit and coffee.

"First of all, I am not the type of guy to kiss and tell. I didn't know if you wanted people to know that you swept me off my feet and made me fall in love with you." I rolled my eyes hearing him come closer and poured in a healthy amount of coffee in a white glass mug. "Second you looked way too damn beautiful to disrupt as you slept. Besides…" I felt a hand on my hip and spun quick holding my white mug of hot black coffee. "I left you a note on the nightstand by you." I rolled my eyes again and investigated my black coffee.

"I didn't see anything and…" I stopped and suddenly remembered I did see a piece of paper on the nightstand but was in too much of a rush to look at it. I glanced up slowly and blushed smiling small. "I may have seen it but didn't read it seeing as I was three hours late. You could have set an alarm for me jerk." He chuckled looking over my head and I smiled looking at a bite mark on his shoulder. "I don't care if you tell people about us." I glanced up to his face hating that even though I was almost 5'10'' in my heels, I still wasn't eye level with him.

"So, I can tell people you're my girlfriend?" I nodded as he looked down and he bent quick. His hands gripped my hips and his lips crashed into mine. I squeezed onto the coffee mug in my hand but pushed back quick hearing a knock at the door. James let me go and turned slightly seeing Logan peering in, grinning like an idiot to us.

"We got 20 minutes dude. Let's get you ready." James only nodded turning back to me and I set a hand on his chest.

"You're going to be watching right?" I nodded as he pushed back into me and kissed my forehead. "And you'll kiss all my cuts and bumps to make them feel better afterwards?" I laughed but nodded as he started to pull away.

"Of course." He smiled big walking to his black sweater hanging on the back of a chair as Logan, Carlos and Kendall walked in. "Don't be too rough on the guy." All four guys laughed around me as I pushed off the table I was leaning against and took a sip of my coffee.

"That's like asking a fish not to swim. This is what he knows best. And he is going to fuck this guy up." I gave Kendall a dirty look as he threw a black duffle over his shoulder grinning big at me. "Besides…this guy will be lucky if James knocks him out early. Less damage to be done." I rolled my eyes letting Logan take my notebook from me again as he walked out with me on one side while James walked on the other. Very casually James grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I blushed seeing James's team lining the hallway, all smiling big at us. "So, this is a real thing now?" I looked up to James seeing him looking straight ahead and the closed metal doors, leading out to the octagon. He smiled, and I smiled too looking down at the ground. "Just remember man…Ricky likes to talk. He knows you've had the hots for her for a while. Don't let him get into your head." I tensed up at the thought, but James gently squeezed my hand shaking his head.

"Trust me man. The first time he says something stupid, I'm hitting him hard."

"In the face." James looked down at me as soon as I said it, making both of us smile. "Confidence over cockiness remember?" James laughed looking back to the doors just as the lights went out in the hallway and the screams from the crowd outside got louder. "Go get em Diamond." I squeezed his hand gently and let it go as the doors pulled open. I took a step back letting Kendall and Carlos get on either side of him. I wrapped around myself as Logan got next to me and walked me out after the three in front of us, James's song he picked to walk out, blaring loud. Just as he stepped out of the hall, he glanced over his shoulder and gave me one last small smile.

My poor heart.


End file.
